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Bio

Pro Record 11-1-0 (Win-Lose-Draw)

Age: 24

Height: 5’11

Weight: 185

Out of: Tulsa, OK

One of the most frequently asked questions that I have directed towards me is why I fight and why the unusual nickname of “That just happened?” Well, I am here to set the record straight. It began when I was born under auspicious circumstances that defined my circuitous, but inevitable destiny. It was the 80′s.  My father hated Pepsi products, but squandered the family fortune on “Pepsi memorabilia” after an angelic vision prophesied a precise combination of Pepsi products attached to a rusted tricycle in archaic pattern arrangements would produce a time machine capable of transporting him back in time to purchase Microsoft stock before the boom.

After several years, every inch of our home was covered in Pepsi products. Due to the constant subliminal messaging, my Mother and my Aunt, who lived  in our attic, became addicted to Pepsi.  Every night, every hour, they woke up, drank a Pepsi and whispered secret words to the can before returning to sleep. In the late 80′s  Pepsi, decided to use Madonna’s song Like a prayer” in a commercial to advertise. Pepsi was unaware that the video’s content would cause controversy among many religious groups and they eventually dropped the ad. This did not stop my Aunt from frequently dressing as Madonna and taking to the streets while re-enacting the video. In June of 1988 my dad had a breakthrough on his time traveling tricycle. However, my Mother went into labor just as this happened and he was forced to stop his tolling to take her to the hospital. By this time my Aunt had been repeating her Madonna impersonations on a daily basis. Local churches had caught wind of it and believed her to be possessed. It was on this day that they decided to perform an exorcism. My Aunt took the tricycle and began to ride through the neighborhood singing Madonna off key. The mob met her after the first block and she began to pedal away for her life while still singing. Mom later told me that the caffeine high must have altered her pitch because she normally had a beautiful singing voice. Just as the mob cornered the tricycle riding diva, it melted into a pile of smoke. Apparently time travel was achieved. I never met my Aunt, but Dad occasionally looks at pictures of the tricycle with a certain sadness in his eyes the way old people do and mumbles about the Microsoft wealth he almost had. Stories say that you could hear the melody of her song long after the wind carried the smoke away. The last notes died at the exact moment of my birth. Auspicious indeed.

It was early on that an event took place which would set me on the path of fighting, although I did not see the significance till many years later. It took place at summer camp. We were staying in a cabin which ranged from 4th graders to 6th graders. I was in the 4th grade and one of the 6th graders rather enjoyed picking on us. One day he grabbed me and said that all of the 4th graders needed to be quiet or he would hurt me. I proceeded to grab his finger and snap it in two. The next night at the campfire, a group of the other 6th graders called me over to sit with them. It occurred to me that all I had to do was hurt people in order to make friends and rise above my rightful station.

My unusual style of ground fighting originated with Dad’s artistic period. Each Tuesday he positioned Mom over a canvas, filled her mouth with food coloring and hooked jumper cables to her ears. The spray of colored saliva on canvas was a new era of art he titled “Electric Pain.” Dad thought tying her securely would be cruel, besides the thrashing enhanced the artistry. At dad’s signal, my sister – who was born with only half a brain – and I would pull her to the ground like jackals attacking a wildebeest and hold her while dad applied the electrodes. My grappling skills were honed so finely that I was  eventually able to avoid the electrical jolts. Now, years later when I see someone having a seizure I often do a double leg takedown and choke them into submission. It is a compulsion beyond my control. Unfortunately for the family, my Mother’s screams constantly coming from our house garnered the attention of people. And for the second time in our family history it was believed we were possessed. A mob formed and cut the power lines to our house in an attempt to corral us out into the open. That winter, before the art world was able to recognize the genius of my Father’s work, we had to burn  the masterpieces in order to stay warm. Eventually food ran short and we were forced to sneak out the back of the house one night. As we started the car, the mob was in hot pursuit of us. My Dad began a philosophical discussion about how sacrificing yourself for your family was the greatest honor achievable in life. My sister and I knew where this conversation was leading. I have to say she fought valiantly and if not for her lighter weight due to her half brain I might not have been able to push her out of the car door. The fanatics swarmed her just as we crossed the Red River. I never expected to see her again, but two years later she was found running down a dark street only miles from our house, wearing apparel fashioned out of squirrel pelts. My Mother went and claimed her at the local SPCA after seeing her story on the news. My sister suffered no permanent damage except her tongue is now black and she can’t pronounce her R’s. I think she has forgiven me.

In my teens I was struck by lightning while holding a long metal rod in an attempt to steal Zeus’ powers.  It scrambled my brain and for weeks I thought I was a terrier. I chased cars and barked at cats and drank from the toilet until I cornered a man in a dark alley. It was only after he bit me several times and my human memories returned that I realized he was a werewolf. I struggled with the changes at first but eventually I managed them. Some people assume that werewolves are not allowed in the MMA, but we are carefully monitored and disqualified from fighting five days before and after our change. Our superior strength, endurance, and reflexes all depend on moon phases and shape shifting is more painful than rubbing acid in your eyes to erase the image of the ugly woman you met at the bar. Real superpowers like mind control, limb regeneration or the ability to control my bodily functions while drunk would be cool. The ultimate would be IRS-like powers to seize bank accounts and homes without due process.

It was when I was working a job at a convenient store called Quiktrip that an event occured which caused me to make the transition into MMA. One day an elderly woman was irate about the rise in gas prices. She began to hit me with her rolled up newspaper. Every time she hit me  my eyes focused on the letters MMA headlining an article. After the thrashing, curiosity caused me to read the paper which implied that you could be financially compensated to fight in an arena. I was taken back to my experience at summer camp. That sounded so perfect, I wondered why everyone wasn’t doing it. I started carrying around a notebook and wrote down names of people I wanted to fight, starting with that whiny 4th grader who cut line while I was waiting at Taco Bell for my nachos with extra cheese. The grandma door-greeter at Wal-Mart looked frail. I added her to my list. Training seemed gratuitous, but added legitimacy.  Imagine my surprise the first time I stepped into the cage and heard the roar of the crowd and discovered my opponent wasn’t little Johnny but a full grown, very unpleasant looking man. By then it was too late to back out so I just squinted my eyes and tried to image granny in the middle of a full blown seizure and for a moment I saw her standing there twitching like a dry leaf in a strong wind and I took her to the ground and choked her  unconscious.  Afterward I vaguely remember shouting “DID THAT JUST HAPPEN?”  and the nickname stuck. That’s how I got into fighting and that’s how I got the unusual nickname. Chance, choice or destiny, it was unavoidable.

Result Opponent Method Event Date Round Time
Lose

Win

Win

Win

Win

Win

Win

Billy Horne

Brandon Mcdowell

Jeremiah Riggs

Cleuburn Walker

Ruben Zammeron

Brandon Lyons

Rudy Lindsey

RNC

KO

Armbar

TKO

KO

Armbar

Armbar

Bellator 78

XFN 8

Bellator 61

XFN 5

XFN 4

XFN 2

Xtreme Fighting League

10/26/2012

06/01/2012

3/16/2012

11/18/2011

8/26/2011

11/12/2010

06/25/2010

1

1

1

2

1

1

1

3:30

0:11

3:30

0:58

0:15

0:44

0:38

Win Jermija Sanders Triangle Xtreme Fighting League 05/15/2010 1 1:46
Win Brandon Gaines Armbar Xtreme Fighting League 03/06/2010 2 2:07
Win Brandon Gaines Arm-Triangle Strikeforce Challengers 09/25/2009 2 1:28
Win

Win

Brandon Newsome

Chris Vantyle

TKO

Rear Naked Choke

Xtreme Fighting League

Ring Rulers

07/21/2009

01/28/2009

3

1

1:27

0:49